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Telling a man you hate him

The key to getting through the inevitable hard times, as my own research suggests, is to never stop trying to understand where your partner is coming from. How did Zayas and Shoda find the hate in the midst of love? They asked study participants to think of a significant other they like very much. Then, the participants reported on their positive and negative feelings toward that person. Unsurprisingly, people reported highly positive feelings and very low negative feelings toward the person they had chosen. But then the researchers assessed implicit feelings —the emotions they might not be consciously aware of—about the significant other.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Don't like him? Let Him Down Easy Like This...

Content:

How to Tell a Guy That You Hate Him

I have only said these words once in my adult life, and I said them to the person I loved more than anything. As embarrassing as it is to admit, it was in my most recent relationship, and I am well past the age where I should be telling anyone I hate them. But in that moment, I did; he had knowingly hurt me on a level that elicited so much pain and anger, hatred was the only way I could describe it.

You hate them because you loved them, and you lost them. The details of what happened between us are complicated, as they usually are. But essentially, he launched an emotional warfare that ended in utter destruction- of us; of the kindness, compassion and respect we initially had; and of the person who he had fallen in love with. It was absolutely heartbreaking to watch someone I loved so deeply treat me in a way that I knew was making him hate himself.

Because despite what I had said, that was the last thing I wanted. I wanted him to feel nothing but love from me, for me and for himself. To me, this meant he was completely detached from love and hate. Fear is the energy which contracts, closes down, draws in, runs, hides, hoards, harms.

Love is the energy which expands, opens up, sends out, stays, reveals, shares, heals. Fear grasps, love lets go. Fear rankles, love soothes. Fear attacks, love amends. This is the only way I can explain it, why I could I feel love and hatred simultaneously. My hatred resulted from fear as well as love, almost a convergence of the two. But he did what I feared the most. He left. Ironically, this was my desperate last attempt to hold on to him. Clearly, none of this is black and white.

The spectrum of the shades and degrees of love, hate, and fear is wide and varied, but I do think all of these feelings are intimately connected. I believe this dynamic can even be seen in people who harm others, whether they know them or not. At some point in their lives, they were hurt deeply by someone they loved by abuse, rejection, abandonment, or all of the above.

If they lack the capacity to process their emotions in a healthy way, this hatred can result in cruel, senseless behavior against people who have nothing to do with the source. I am in no way justifying someone inflicting pain on anyone else, no matter how severe, but I can understand where that kind of rage might come from.

Enough time has passed that hatred is not what comes to mind when I think of him. I hate what he did, but I know on some level that was not truly who he was; he was just battling his own fears. I loved him and was afraid of losing him, no question. But I think the intense emotions that surfaced were because I knew I was losing myself, the person I should have loved the most. Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday.

You may unsubscribe at any time. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement. Greg Raines I hate you. The moment you pledge you highest love, you greet your greatest fear. Expression Falling Out Of Love Hate hating someone Heartbreak losing yourself love and heartbreak the fine line between love and hate Writing and Expression. More From Thought Catalog. Get our newsletter every Friday! You're in! Follow Thought Catalog. Post to Cancel.

The Most Painful Things A Woman Can Say To A Man

I have only said these words once in my adult life, and I said them to the person I loved more than anything. As embarrassing as it is to admit, it was in my most recent relationship, and I am well past the age where I should be telling anyone I hate them. But in that moment, I did; he had knowingly hurt me on a level that elicited so much pain and anger, hatred was the only way I could describe it. You hate them because you loved them, and you lost them. The details of what happened between us are complicated, as they usually are.

So you love a guy with low self-esteem. Sucks to be you.

Can Xue is the pseudonym of the new experimental author Deng Xiaohua, born in Formerly a tailor, she began writing fiction in Account Options Fazer login. Love in the New Millennium.

When You Love a Man With Low Self-Esteem – 9 Things to Keep in Mind (by Paul Graves)

When someone hurts your feelings, the immediate response is often to lash out in anger. This is especially true when you have romantic feelings for a guy. When you feel cheated or used, the pain can be unbearable, but try not to react right away. You may eventually regret any irrational decisions, so prepare yourself ahead of time. You want to clearly communicate your strong feelings without doing or saying something foolish. Write down your feelings on paper. Express why you hate the guy by writing down actions he did to hurt your feelings.

The Heartbreaking Truth Behind What It Really Means To Hate Someone You Used To Love

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Jan 16, - contact him at [email protected] him Anita referred you, then you can thank me later. God Bless.

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