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Man woman quotes funny

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And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. If the world were ruled by women then there would be no war… Just couple of nations not talking with each other. Women are like telephones they like to be held and talked to but if you push the wrong buttons you could be disconnected :]. You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and out the other. Tell a woman something, it goes in both ears and comes out through the mouth..

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Funny Quotes About Men to Make You Laugh Till Your Insides Hurt

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We men are often the brunt of some disdain from the female of the species and quite rightly so! The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.

I need all the publicity I can get. Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. The first thing men notice about a woman is her eyes. I refuse to consign the whole male sex to the nursery.

I insist on believing that some men are my equals. Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore. I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid. A man will go to war, fight and die for his country. Women have their faults, men have only two: everything they say, everything they do.

Beware of men who cry. Women want mediocre men, and men are working to be as mediocre as possible. Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause — you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles. When women are depressed, they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. You educate a man; you educate a man. You educate a woman; you educate a generation.

No woman really wants a man to carry her off; she only wants him to want to do it. In politics, If you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman. See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. Any fool knows men and women think differently at times, but the biggest difference is this. Men forget, but never forgive; women forgive, but never forget. A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men.

Wise men speak because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something. I thought the only thing they were allowed to do was shake hands or fight. Every man I meet wants to protect me. Being a woman is a terribly difficult trade since it consists principally of dealings with men. Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams.

Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened. Most books on witchcraft will tell you that witches work naked. This is because most books on witchcraft were written by men. If you enjoyed these funny quotes about men, why not check out all our other funny quotes and sayings too, including these:.

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We men are often the brunt of some disdain from the female of the species and quite rightly so! The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.

Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men. Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.

Funny Men And Women Quotes

How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one. Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, doesn't swear, doesn't get angry, doesn't exist. I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status. How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost? I'd like to live like a poor man - only with lots of money. The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.

Funny Women Quotes and Sayings

Milk Snort! The Joke Game. More Info - Watch The Video. Hilarious quotes and funny sayings about women.

I like my coffee hot and strong, like I like my women , hot and strong

Life is too short to be spent in being sad and cribbing about things. A funny incident here and there can help add a glint of smile to a boring day. Anything hilarious, be it a funny scene, incident or even a quote, always brings sunshine to a gloomy day.

35 Classic Quotes About The Differences Between Men & Women

Sign in with Facebook Sign in options. Join Goodreads. Quotes tagged as "men-and-women" Showing of A woman's face is her work of fiction.

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Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday. You may unsubscribe at any time. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement. Men never remember, but women never forget. The main difference between men and women is that men are lunatics and women are idiots.

Men And Women Quotes

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Explore Men And Women Quotes by authors including William Shakespeare, Oscar Wilde, and Jordan Peterson at BrainyQuote.

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100 Funny Quotes and Sayings about Women with Hilarious Images

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Comments: 2
  1. Mauzilkree

    The excellent answer, I congratulate

  2. Tygoshakar

    It not so.

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