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Looking for girlfriend > Looking for boyfriend > I want you to marry a girl of my choice

I want you to marry a girl of my choice

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It's no surprise that men and women are wired differently when it comes to relationships and marriage , but it's not as different as we think. It's not that men do NOT want to get married , it's that they don't want to marry someone just because they are a certain age, nor are worried what others will say. Even in this day and age, most men feel it is their responsibility to provide for their family. It's an emotional burden that they choose—not because they are forced to, but because they want to, and all they expect in return is support and encouragement. Men are insecure, too. They are worried that they aren't making it in life—not just in the work force but also at home.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Women marrying later, or not at all: Pros, cons

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SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Why Bother With Marriage?

5 Signs You Need to Marry Your Girlfriend

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I am almost I was engaged when I was 22 to my second cousin. When he started a good career, he sent his parents to my house. This impressed my parents and they thought he was serious in me and they also knew this marriage would make me happy. I got engaged to him but totally with my parents' consent as it was their decision. And I was very much in contact with him because our parents were okay with it.

He lived in another country so it was a long distance relationship. During our engagement period, a lot of issues arise between us. All those things were disclosed to me one year after the engagement. I got a little scared. He also started putting restrictions on me which were a little unfair. I started telling my parents that I was having problems. They listened to me but never really did anything. It came to the point that I was so depressed that my parents started taking notice.

One month before the wedding, my father decided to take stand for me. But they both agreed that he was doing wrong. My father called his parents and broke the engagement. His family started spreading rumors about me in family which was natural.

My mother got really depressed. She kept on saying you loved him, how can you do that. She even went in denial and keeps saying that he was a good guy and you did wrong to him. I was in love but I know in my heart it was the right decision. I am not really ready to get married now instantly. But now my parents are forcing me to marry another cousin of mine who is a nice guy. I am totally against marrying someone in family.

They even blame me sometimes that we did everything for your happiness, so now you owe us. There is another guy that I know who proposed to me right after my engagement broke off.

I am very comfortable with him because I do have an understanding with him. And I know his family too. With him I can even pursue my career. Because his family is NOT like me. I want to work along with my marriage. This other guy is totally okay with it. He is also in the same field as I am. I see a good future with him. He is religious. And he gives me nothing but respect. But my parents are not even ready to consider anyone else now.

This is affecting my personality and my life really bad. Please tell me what to do. I'm sorry to hear of all these things. When I read your post, I was honestly surprised. Among all the emails I recieve everyday from this site everytime someone posts something new which I get delivered to my email , your situation seemed the easiest that I've read in a long time. I actually raised an eyebrow when you said that your parents went along with your decision to marry your cousin the first one , and that then only because you were saddened by the way you were being treated, of all people your father stood up for you.

Subhan Allah, you are lucky to have such wonderful parents! As I kept reading, you said you know in your heart that you aren't ready to get married suddenly, but then you'll marry this other gentleman over your cousin? It sounds like two things are happening It sounds like you're aware of a more "updated" way of life and want to not follow the more traditional way that your culture may take you.

Please excuse me if you're in fact not pakistani or indian, but the way you're speaking about your family it seems that's the most probable.

I say this because you had almost everything with your first cousin I'm sorry to say that perhaps you should have simply recognized what you had with your first cousin, and worked on the things that seemed to go downhill? Perhaps ask your parents rather than supporting a dissolution of the marriage, to support your happiness by having a talk with his family about maintaining respect for you, and making it clear that you will in fact have somewhere to go, should he end up to be a dishonorable, abusive husband Now it's too late, unless you can go back to your cousin I do hope that you find all that you're looking for, but I just had to say how surprised I was that you had both an attraction to a person, AND your parents blessing for your marriage after he worked and got a career just to earn your hand then sent his parents to your house asking for you, and you seemed to self distruct your own happiness.

How do you know this new beau will be the man who will make you happy? Now, you don't have your parents blessing for the man you want, and you're going against your parents for who they want for you.

I'd say you chose your path, and had your shot to marry the man you wanted, but you turned him down. Now, perhaps you should honor your parents and count your blessings. You owe no one a thing.

This is your life Be patient and God willing things will turn around. Stand your ground and never marry anyone whom you do not wish to be married to. In the end of the day, it is your life and your happiness and well being are of the utmost importance. I understand the advice that sister Najah gave you, and its true that if you lived in the west Do you perhaps live in the UK? Meaning that in the west you're at less chance of creating a situation that could potentially make you miserable.

In the east, especially in more conservative countries, you have to be able to recognize when you have it good. I'm just questionable on what the ground is that you're standing on In other words, it soundeasu were easilly discouraged from working through common marital issues. Him sharing things with his parents and being a little restrictive remember you're comparing his restrictions to the only other experience you have, which is a free, single woman, and marriage does naturally restrict us and cause our priorities to be redirected in some ways which might at first feel unnatural or even unfair are problems that come naturally with a budding relationship, before boundaries have been set.

I don't think you should marry someone you dont like, but just remember to not take advantage and recognize your parents embracing a step away from a strict approach, so that you might be happy They were born in a different time and showing such understanding is something that should be appreciated.

Also, they're only human and you might use up their patience They might not be like you, but its obvious that they know it, and they're trying to level with you which is both admirable and rare. Times are changing, and ideas of marriage are changing, but it takes time, so find out how both respect your parents traditional values while finding a good husband WHEN you're even ready to get married.

Maybe you're just not ready You should think about that possibility too. Asalam dazzlingdamsel, I am sorry to what you had to go through. It seems like you had to go through a huge emotional roller coaster, and inshAllah things will get better. I just couldn't help to notice that your story seems a little fishy to me in a third person point of view. First of all you said you liked your first fiance.

From what I understand from that part of your story is that you and him were both interested in each other romantically, both of you were young and perhaps had unstable careers.

You perhaps tried to convince OR talked to your parents about him but it didn't seem to work out since both of you guys were young and still working to build your future. However, when the right time came and he started to be stable with his career and became a little bit more presentable to your parents so he send the proposal to your parents. Your parents said yes because he seemed more presentable and because of the pressure that you were actually interested in this guy.

Things started to go downhill for you after engagement because you and him had mis-communication or you or him couldn't maintain the LDR. You started to get more close with Guy 2 the one you claim to be more comfortable with. When your fiance came to know about this either through you telling him or whatever your fiance did not like this naturally because it just seem make him feel insecure. If i were you at that moment I would have listened and stopped being friends with this Guy 2.

But you didn't for whatever reason and your fiance told his parents that he was unhappy with you for those reasons.

I can see that he was actually pretty good guy because he still wanted to marry you in hope that perhaps you would change once you're married and living with him. You although, felt uncomfortable about this whole thing and told your parents about the issues you were having with him.

So almost last minute your dad calls it off. Your ex-fiance's family probably aren't starting rumors but just answering the questions that people are asking who were anticipated to go to the wedding.

Your fiance really isn't the bad guy, so they are just telling people the truth. Your mother is devastated because she probably had to emotionally go through a lot for you and him to be in a relationship and now you didn't want to be married with him anymore. I would also be devastated if i was your mother.

As you said, right after the engagement broke off, obviously it was Guy 2's time to shine. He sent the proposal.

When Your Parents Disapprove of Your Marriage

It can be devastating when you think you've found Mr. Right and your parents think he or she is all wrong for you. If you're close to your parents, you want their approval when taking this big step, but you also want to remain loyal to the person you're committing to spending the rest of your life with. The upshot: You're torn with a capital T. Here's what to do and not do should you find yourself in this sticky situation.

I am almost I was engaged when I was 22 to my second cousin. When he started a good career, he sent his parents to my house.

You can change your city from here. We serve personalized stories based on the selected city. Weight loss story: "I was tired of stupid remarks and comments. So, I lost 22 kilos and got my life back!

When Your Parents Disapprove of Your Partner

If youngsters have an open sky to fly, on the contrary, few of the parents have confined themselves into the handcuffs of society, tradition, rituals, culture, religion etc. Since you have made your mind of marrying the partner of your choice, you also want your parents to also accept your decision. It begins with spending quality time with your parents. You should try to create such closeness that slowly and steadily you can start opening up about your personal life pages in front of them. Mom, do you remember my friend rima? Her cousin had so many complications in her marriage. The guy belonged to a different community and caste and many other things. But finally, their parents got convinced and they are happily married. I am surprised they have they accepted the boy.

Funny Joke

No eBook available Amazon. Love is something you need to give, something that we share and believe. Like a desert needs the water, like a flower needs the rain; my soul is thirsty for your Love and my heart screams out your name. What happens and what options were left for him? It is a true love story with some imaginations of the author that revolves around a social networking site called facebook.

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Shakespeare immortalized it in Romeo and Juliet. For all I know, a Neanderthal woman had a fight with her dad about her choice of her Cro-Magnon guy. My mother constantly complains.

13 Very Honest Men Reveal the One Thing That Makes Them Marry You

You can change your city from here. We serve personalized stories based on the selected city. Weight loss story: "I was tired of stupid remarks and comments. So, I lost 22 kilos and got my life back!

If you are dating with marriage in mind , it is important to look for qualities that would make a woman a good wife. You want to look for certain characteristics that will benefit your relationship in the long term. Search past the physical attributes you find very attractive and your undeniable chemistry. Not every woman would make a good spouse or a good spouse for you. If you want to get married, it's important to look for qualities that show that the woman you are dating is capable of being alone, strong, and responsible. Of course, you will also need to play your part and have these qualities yourself.

Updated: March 29, References. You have this girl you love, but your parents either don't approve or you fear they won't? Navigating this situation will take time, patience, and clear communication from you, and not every family culture will handle marriage discussions in the same ways. However, if you focus on a respectful and loving appreciation for your parents' fears, getting them to accept your life changes is truly possible. Log in Facebook. No account yet? Create an account. We use cookies to make wikiHow great.

Marry the girl of my choice Dad: Son, I want you to marry the Dad goes to Bill Gates Dad: I want your daughter to marry my son. Bill Gates: No! Dad: My.

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Comments: 2
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